Snape Shorts
by Jane Dilton
Summary: This may turn out to become a series of nonchronological, haphazard little shorts revolving around our favorite potions master--past, present, and not quite future. First one takes place during his fifth year at Hogwarts, prior to falling out with Lily.


With much love for Snape and Lily, neither of whom--fortunately for them--I own.

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It was a moonless night, and only the lights shining from the castle's top towers and glimmering out of its countless little windows lit up the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Two figures cloaked in robes that were indiscriminate in the feeble light made their way furtively towards the Forbidden Forest. One of them, a boy with greasy lengths of black hair and sharp, shifting eyes, kept looking back cautiously behind them. He looked to be about his mid-teens. When they at least reached the edge of the trees the other threw back her hood to reveal a head of straight red hair. She was barely smiling, in a somewhat self-satisfied manner.

The trees all around them were taller than the eyes could see and thick as cars. The girl leaned up against an especially large one, and her companion followed suit slowly, surveying her with his lips set thin and tight. She giggled softly.

"No need to look so serious, Sev," she teased.

His eyes roved around the treetops uneasily.

"Of all the places to meet, I don't know why you chose this one," he mumbled. "You know that Dumbledore always says the forest is forbidden to students."

She shook her head impatiently.

"And how many people actually listen? Look, James Potter and his friends have been caught down here plenty of times, and they're alright. And besides," she said slightly louder, because Severus had suddenly opened his mouth furiously, as if to say whatever James Potter did was reason enough to _not_ do it, "I thought you'd like it here, being full of the kind of magic you seem so taken with."

He didn't miss the coolness in her last words. His face so abruptly assumed a wary, closed look, that had anyone else been listening in they would have realized the conversation had reached a very interesting point indeed.

"Lily," he began, somewhat stiffly.

"Actually," she interrupted, "that's just what I brought you down here to talk about."

She paused here, as if expecting some sort of reply. When none came she pushed onward, looking into his eyes in a very determined manner.

"The kind of magic you and your…your _friends_ are playing around with is just—it isn't right, Sev. I see them in the hallways, jeering at people from non-wizarding families and hexing first years, and I see you with them and I feel so ashamed for you! The things they do, they people they're hoping to become—it isn't something that you would want, Sev. Just because you're in the same house doesn't mean you have to follow them around all the time—

Those words seemed to have hit some sort of nerve. The thin, sallow face of the boy had remained impassive, though slightly more pale than before; but suddenly he flushed and spoke quite hotly.

"What do you mean _'follow them around'_? I'm not some pathetic stray dog, I am one of them!"

"No you're not," answered Lily, just as stubbornly.

His eyes flashed.

"You're not," she persisted more gently, "because they're…they're…well, _evil_, Sev. And you aren't."

Her words seemed to have the opposite effect she intended. The look on his face was a nasty mixture of contemptuous anger and hurt pride that eerily resembled the worst of the man he would grow to become. His voice was cold and sardonic.

"Evil, you call them? Well what do you think Potter does all day long but go around jinxing anyone he can reach? How is that any different?"

"Of course it is! That doesn't have anything to do with it! And why do you have to keep bringing him up?"

"I didn't! You did!"

They glowered at each other.

"Do you know what they want to be?" Her voice was soft but trembled with suppressed anger. "They want to join Voldemort"—Severus's jaw tightened involuntarily, but he remained silent—"and become Death Eaters, just like that horrible Lestrange woman who was in the Prophet for all those Muggle murders. You can't deny that _she's_ evil now, can you."

He was carefully avoiding her eyes. Lily stared at him, a bit taken aback.

"Sev?" Her voice was uncertain.

"It's no different than Dumbledore," he said, still not looking at her. He ran his hands distractedly along the bark of his tree, a frown on his features shaded by the oily curtains of his hair, as he concentrated on something behind Lily that wasn't there.

"What are you talking about?"

His gaze snapped back onto her.

"Bellatrix Lestrange was being loyal to the Dark Lord, just as many people are loyal to Dumbledore. And isn't loyalty considered a virtue, when it's Dumbledore?"

"But Dumbledore doesn't demand loyalty from anyone," said Lily incredulously, "and he also doesn't go around killing anyone!"

Severus pressed on, staring intensely at her over his hooked nose, but looking as though he had not heard a word she'd said.

"But I bet he would do a number of things to stop the Dark Lord that would be just as—

"Listen to you," cried Lily, who sounded close to tears, "'Dark Lord, Dark Lord'—you're already wanting to be a Death Eater!"

"—I bet he's killed people fighting for the so-called good," continued Severus quietly as though she hadn't spoken at all, "just like those whom you think of as so-called evil—

He suddenly trailed off, noticing for the first time the look on Lily's face.

"Why don't you just join their ranks now, then?" She was shivering imperceptibly, but her voice was steady, low and uncharacteristically vicious.

"I could be your first victim—a mudblood! Wouldn't that be an honor, to be the first victim of Severus Snape the Death Eater, servant of Lord Voldemort!"

Severus looked stricken. His thin, panicked face looked again like that of the bewildered schoolboy he was.

"That's not what I meant," he stammered, "I—I would never want to hurt you."

They were silent for a while. An owl hooted somewhere overhead. The sound carried over the treetops unimpeded, sounding rather lonely and doleful.

"I just don't understand you," offered Lily finally. She sounded tired. "I don't understand why you would want to be around people who do such obvious mean things to other people."

She looked up.

"Is it to prove yourself or something? To prove that you're a powerful wizard?"

Severus moved his head side-to-side slowly.

"I already know that I'll be a great wizard," he shrugged with an offhand sort of arrogance, "I don't need anyone to tell me that."

"Then I don't understand."

He considered her, clear green eyes and stubborn set lips, and there was something that resembled bitterness in his crooked little smile.

"No, I didn't really expect you to."

Perhaps Lily was annoyed by this remark, because she suddenly rubbed her arms and glanced toward the castle.

"We'd better head back," she said, "before Filch catches us out of bed."

Severus nodded. He pushed a string of greasy black hair out of his eyes and turned toward the castle with his companion. Together the two dark, cloaked figures stole quietly across the grounds and back to the magical school of witchcraft and wizardry.


End file.
